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Five days without my phone. I'll admit I'm kinda feeling it. I suppose the term could be "internet addiction": It kinda feels like it could be a real thing. I generally scoff at the idea of technology addictions. Afterall, can you get addicted to "less advanced" technology? Or is this "addictive" property only wthin modern technology. Time was people were "addicted" to TV, then to newspapers, books, before that who knows? Cave paintings I guess. Sounds like everyone, everywhere, throughout time is addicted to information. Mental stimulation if you will. That term feels appropriate as I'm sating my craving to browse social media and message friends and family by writing out this blog post. I am stimulating my mind by having it work through this very idea. Framed this way, it feels lik an addiction in the same way eating can be seen as an addiction; which, of course, it can. Eating typically becomes somthing akin to an addiction when someone is trying to use it to sate a need unreated to food or when the food itself is designed not to satisfy. I think this follows with "internet addiction". I have no evidence for this but it feels true that when someone is trying to use the internet to sate some need it has no ability to, or is consuming a "kind" of internet designed not to satisfy it can lead to compulsive usage. Take for instance social media. One can doomscroll in an attempt to get an endorphen hit from positive content or engagement that will never come and thing that they're just trying to "stay informed". or maybe they're looking for some novel mental stimulation but are only getting hollow, slightly altered repititions of the same ideas that don't satisify beyond the illusion of stimulation. This matches with my experiance with bad browsing habits anyway. I'm curious if anyone else feels the same.
Unrelated to the above but a milestone that feels worth marking: as of today I have hit my first 2 weeks on HRT! That's half a month!
Contact me - marensdasein@gmail.com